Fate/stay night
Ep 1
That's a FUN and confusing scene.
Seven classes? Like D&D?
Uh...no duh. It's the Paper Bag Wars. DUH.
Come forth to me. Insert name. PLEASE.
I love this white haired guy's voice.
So basically it's Pokemon...with D&D classes? Wow...uh...I don't know what to think.
and these people look like otome game characters.
Narration? And exposition by narration.
So x-ray vision? What the actual fuck.
Magus? Another D&D term I'm guessing.
Ep 2
Uh...this is worse than "Last time on 'Fate/Stay Night'." Really.
So you don't know what? WHA.
Random bleeding.
I feel like that cleaning wouldn't work well. Pushing and running.
He's handle the landing? WHAT.
This is weird. If we can't see him, we can't do anything!
So...Archer isn't just a name?
Yeah, dude. That is NOT a bow. SO haha on you.
Okay...this is a time and place thing that is so convenient!
HOW DO YOU KNOW? Did you check the building, dear Toosaka?
YOU DID NOT STAB ANYTHING. That was a tap of the tip. Nothing else.
Could you NOT destroy the house?
Does no one see the flying duo?
She just came out of the floor.
Ep 3
So, the question is...is the master thing because of his birth family or adopted dad? Hm...the world may never know.
Also, how many of these Masters are teens? I'm guessing...all of them!
Just HOW does Saber fight in that dress?
Ireland? So they're European? Hm.
Epic jumping skills. Hm.
I imagine that Saber is annoyed at Emiya's ignorance.
GIRLS? Geez.
So this game happens a lot?
And that means the Holy Grail is gained and lost. A lot.
Since when has the Holy Grail does that?
A battle is not a war.
You're just asking about it now? Geez...he's been mentioning it this entire time.
I do hope there's a Joan of Arc in the mix.
He's way too peaceful for life. Shush, Emiya.
I don't get this Command Seals thing.
What if you're not taught about this by Kirei? Think about it. You'd be oblvious. And it randomly selects participants really. Which is stupid too.
Ep 4
Weird German-ish name doesn't work with Japanese...
Beserker? Who seems to be basically be hand to hand combat. But as a huge orge type. Uh...no.
That is a CLUB. Or it was for a second.
Emiya's dialogue for this episode so far consists of "Saber!" and that's literally it.
Who pays for damages? Or tries to fix things?
And GERMAN? What does that have anything to do with anything here?
Hercules is a devil? Hm.
Uh...it's your blood. Idiot.
Emiya's idiocy is astounding.
PLEASE. Don't tell me that Sakura likes Emiya or some bull like that.
Shouldn't Toosaka have an armful of those signs? She's commanded Archer to do a lot.
Ep 5
I sensed your presence... Hm.
Wow. She really is listening to him.
She's talking about 'looks'. Not taste at all.
Uh...you're giving Sakura the wrong idea. Yes, I'm singling out Sakura.
You mean...hostel. Haha.
Where are these swords from?
Saber is quite distant.
Uh no. We are not doing the inverted colors thing.
He falls asleep that fast?
He spoke without moving his mouth! Magic.
Naw, he's going to pull the 'I have secret badass powers'.
Uh...it's a black ball. It's not that crazy.
Uh...dude. Who cares about seeing your panties like that?
Ep 6
That's a wooden DESK.
Why are YOU tired, Toosaka? You did NOTHING but throwing black balls at him.
Why hasn't he thought about summoning Saber? She could protect him. Plus, he's going to die otherwise. I feel a Saber ex machina coming on.
Mana? Another D&D term! Woot woot.
Obviously she wouldn't look like a dry husk. Is Emiya actually that stupid?
CLOSE THE DOOR.
It was a short pole. NOT a sword. What in the world are you thinking?
He laughed...that's nothing special. Really. How can you tell who it is?
Just how is he not dying from that? I do hope that wasn't his artery. He'd die in an instant if it was.
AKA SUMMON SABER, IDIOT.
So summoning is one Command Seal? Uh...why can't he just yell and hope Saber hears him? I hear that works occasionally.
What is her Class? Prison maiden? Geez...or dom?
Toosaka is unlikely to help him like this.
Aka Toosaka is falling for him. That's why. Tsundere girls....
What if it healed while the stake was still in his arm? HM.
So they accepted the adopted son instead? Hm.
Young Toosaka's eyes were almost as big as her face.
RECESS? You're teenagers, but you have recess?
Rider? EXCUSE ME. What does that even mean? And was Archer there? Geez.
She changed into kimono? Whose?
Yeah, that's why she's worried. You're weak. And you're going to get hurt. That's why she's worried.
You're flying away. As if he can hear that.
Ep 7
Sakura is stereotypical housewife.
That's where she gets her mojo?
Flashback...geez.
Saber looks too young for her voice.
Poor Emiya is being thrown under the bus.
And Sakura is all...blushing. And jealous.
Bad impression? But don't all the boys love her? UGH.
Including the Masters? WOw.
Well...it could be. Or could not.
How can Toosaka not sense the sigils?
So she can sense them when she's there. Next to them?
Just saying, he'd have to walk the entire room. Just in case.
Team work montage!
Isn't Toosaka tired or anything? It's magic. No matter what.
There is no one there. Just go inside. Who cares? Really. And who cares if your panty is seen? Really.
Got them all??? How!
It's in a metal can. And it can't be that hot. Unless the can is insulated.
It's big enough for even Emiya to see it.
Ep 8
Who cares if you were friends? Really?
How was this guy Emiya's friend? Really.
EXACTLY. Since when?
So...you're a Magi...without being one.
And you believe Shinji???
Shinji will be twisting poor Emiya's heart. Trust me. I know.
A barrier? Wow...why didn't anyone mention this?
Emiya is playing it too safe...
Wait...isn't Archer there too?
That is a waste of a Command Seal.
Poor Sakura is confused...and probably feeling turned off.
Taiga is implying that Emiya is building a harem.
Toosaka is Piper-ing her way through this.
It took Saber that long for her to heal??
Ep 9
He looks a little like Gakupo.
Saber is like a teenager. Tell her no, and she just goes and does it.
Uh...what.
And I still find it freaking creepy when you can't see Saber's sword...
It's not secret if you call it so!
Witch looks like a witch. Hmph.
Also, way too many booty shots for me to care.
What does Rider even mean?
EXPOSITION by...SABER!
YES. Finally. Let's see the sword.
Oh my...it's that powerful of a sword?
Does Saber not notice
And Saber needs to be rescued. For some reason. Yes, powerful women exist. But melt in Emiya's arms.
What if a boy gets hurt, Emiya? HM? HM?
Emiya needs to look at the big picture.
Ep 10
Just...what. This is a boring way to start an episode.
Do these girls not have nice, sexy PJs? Because enough teenagers do.
Taiga is basically a child.
Why are you suprised? She's been wearing this for a while.
And Emiya made that super awkward.
Saber has to tone it down to teach him in the beginning...or someone's going to get hurt. Most likely Emiya.
Saber relaxes by just sitting there. Doing and saying nothing.
No, Emiya wouldn't be satisfied. Of course Saber wants the Grail!
Emiya makes it sound like he didn't realize Saber used to be human. And alive.
Saber wants to be human??
Taiyaki?
Good to see you're not dead.
WHAT. Why can't you fight with the sun up?
Illya? Like..Fate Illya prisma whatever.
She's butchering it for a reason.
Because you tried to kill him? How about that?
Why is Illya opening up to him? seriously.
I've never had Taiyaki...
I imagine that Berserker is just fast asleep.
Oh...Shinji v Toosaka. Hm...but they're acting like it's a romantic rendevouz.
What about Toosaka being rough with girls?
Uh...of course he's embarrassed.
and they even made the tips of his ears red!
Enter Taiga! Or so I think. Aw man...it didn't work!
And you know reinforcement?
Ep 11
Geez...Emiya is being taught by both girls? Geez.
WHEN did they get all those old timey lamps?
Equivalent exchange?? WHOA. FMA:B
He's running. Before Shinji tells him to get to school.
OH. I know. The barrier!
Emiya is way too surprised. Geez.
And here goes his super secret magical ability!
Faking 'no please get back' bull. Thanks, Shinji, for being lame.
Just how tall is your school?
WHAT HAPPENED TEN YEARS AGO.
For once! He summons Saber.
Dramatic fight scene!
What even, Rider?
Shinji is a wimp!
How did that even work?
Shinji isn't even a Magus really!
I thought if you gave up your Command Seals, then you wouldn't be a Master anymore.
So she's an angel? Uhm...no.
Oh yay. Backstory…
Maybe he caused all the destruction.
Ep 12
What's going on with poor Shinji?
Are we going to see anymore action in this show? Or are these the only masters we'll meet?
How noble. Not getting Sakura involved. -rolls eyes-
They're forcing romantic relations. Really.
Here as if her lap isn't part of her.
He lived in a forest?
It's causing YOU undue stress, Saber.
I thought Toosaka said Saber's clothes 'flew off' when she switched them...
And just HOW are you going to the roof, Emiya?
What? Is this an all or nothing battle?
Except for flying Archer. He can touch you.
Does anyone else think that Rider is Medusa? And the horse is Pegasus!
Thanks for knowing lots of European mythology, Emiya.
So...Saber is...uh...King Arthur?
ANYONE CAN SEE THAT.
Toosaka is looking at that house like 'come out and play'.
Haha. As if we can read lips.
Ep 13
I still have no clue who Saber is really. GEEz. (I'm still saying Joan of Arc)
What even is the Noble Phastasm?
I still don't get the concept of mana.
More flashbacks? Oi...these are getting tiring.
Arturia? Oh come on.
DUDe. Emiya is GREEN. That reminds me of Archie's weird mysteries. For some reason.
Exposition via sleep flasbacks/dreams?
That took Archer that long?
Or ask for help about replenishing mana on your own.
Illya...again.
And he IS weak.
Whoa. Saber looks so cute in a kimono.
Another girl to the Emiya harem!
WHOA. Didn't plan to kill him???
You know how to use mana?
Ep 14
Oh gosh. They're going to get attacked.
Remember Saber has taken days to recover before.
Made it in time for what?
Just be careful. Or have a moving barrier. Do those exist? I hope so.
Illya is stronger than we ever thought. THANKS for the deception.
Illya is also like a child. Really. She's all 'I want it now!'
Just WHAT WEAPONS does Archer have? He has knives. And a bow. What even.
You know, I might like Archer if he had more screentime.
Those are like boomerangs? And they explode?
Awkward animation of Archer running... And that pose! He looked like some awkward model.
That was your only light? That's stupid on your part, Illya.
Light does not work that way. Especially moonlight. It isn't some sort of spotlight for you to play with.
Unlimited blade works? Isn't that another movie or something?
Whoa...what.
Just how has Beserker not rebelled against Illya? she's a stuck-up brat.
Ep 15
Ok. Hold on. Is Toosaka a Master still?
I kinda want to watch Unlimited Blade Works to understand Toosaka and Archer.
This is getting too complicated. Geez. And mana is just...limited?
Creepy crows creepy crows.
So basically...fan service.
Uh...ew. CGI animation? Now? It's not the time!
I feel like Toosaka is putting down Emiya a bit...
Rear support? Black arts? WHAT. Stop this madness.
A bow? He MADE a bow? Wow.
Each person has to kill him 12 times? Or no? Just 12 in general? (Just saying, 6 are gone.)
DUDE. cliffhanger!
Ep 16
Saber doesn't even have her fancy armor. Or anything. She's just in a foofy dress.
Why didn't you try to fight, Emiya? Really.
When did his arm become ice?
That's a WASTE of a Command Seal. Really. And he just said 'dammit, I said stop!' Wow...
Yes, how did he? Does anyone care to explain for the audience?
Projection hm? If it's a projection, you can't do anything! It's a projection.
HOW does he know the specifics? At all?
Accumlated age??? It'd be a brittle nothing!
WHAt. That's a lie. It's a projection. What does that even mean?
Currently, the Emiya harem is 4 people strong? And they're all Masters really.
How can Saber replenish her mana?
But she lived in her own place. For a long time.
Stray Servant? What? It's not like there is a Stray Servant. Except...maybe...Rider? I'm not sure.
Do these kids just not go to school anymore?
Bodies colliding? Don't put it that way!
And who is cooking this lunch? Really.
The scabbard? Really? Wow...
It's not like the scabbard was what Arthur pulled out of the stone. Plus, in the flashback, Arturia was being lectured on pulling out the SWORD.
Ep 17
Sakura is back?
Saber is way too into the food. Aka ignoring Emiya.
Hm...Castor is a Servant too? GASP
AHH. Archer's weapons.
How is this working?? This Grail thing.
A Magus as a sacrifice? OH MAN.
Instead of killing the
Dude, there are way more Magi than Illya, Emiya, and Toosaka. WAY MORE.
What type of blade is that? And Saber just got stabbed in the boob.
But isn't Saber's sword her Noble Phastasm? What even.
Ep 18
Okay...more flashbacks. Why.
But isn't sacrificing a person have the end result of death?
Is this teacher guy not going to ask questions about the Holy Grail? What if he has to kill someone?
Why didn't they think of an attack lke that before?
Assassin doesn't even look like an assassin. He just looks like a swordsman...
I can't believe Emiya still has that bat of his.
If that doesn't remind me of Stonehenge, I'm not sure what does.
A fictional epic hero? What does that even mean? Who even says that King Arthur was real?
The blood was OVER his hair. That isn't how it works.
Why did Sakura change? Or why was Sakura forced to change?
Standing in place and screaming is useless.
So the Holy Grail is already in her?
Don't get distracted Emiya...
Sakura's child voice sounds so different than her older counterpart.
So what happened? WHAT HAPPENEd.
And thanks for the awkward lip-reading. I have no clue what she said...
There's an unsaid past here between Toosaka and Sakura. And I have no clue what it is.
Ep 19
Time? What are you talking about? You have 5 episodes or so left.
Out of gems? Toosaka uses those little black ball things too!
And how has Emiya NOT defeated his teacher?
Decent judge of women? What does that even mean?
And why do Servants get to dissapate like particles? Why not return to the earth?
The Grail is the Grail.
Slave? What does that even mean?
Uhm...what?
Hi, new guy. With weird earrings.
I feel like that sentence is contradictory. "As the king, she belongs to me."
The fact that Castor actually cared for her Master...wow. That hurts.
Castor is actually attractive. And...just whose cloak is that? Because it's not Castor's, or it would have disappeared too.
Emiya looks so sad...cheer up!
He's an Archer? What...does this series know what an Archer is?
And he doesn't leave? Why would he stay here? And why permanently?
Ep 20
Why will she die??
DAMMIT. You had one job, Fate/stay night! ACTION. Not romance. -smashes head into wall-
I love that Saber doesn't know what a date is. In her time, it was called 'courting'. :)
This is, by far, one of the most awkward dates ever.
Did they just add in Star Wars??
Emiya is subtly asking for another date.
What if you're wrong, Emiya?
No, you're acting like a brat, Emiya.
After 10? Why can't you say 11 or whatever the hour is?
I mean...if you look at it, Saber is a fighter. She can fight them on her own. No clue if it would be failure or success, though.
Ep 21
Stay the way they are? Haha.
The woman who has bewitched me? What the frig?
I've never seen her bleed like that before. My gosh.
Gilgamesh? Really? He's this blond creep?
So Saber can wield the said sword? Saber's a king...
SABER!
This show is goddy sexist...
How does Gilgamesh have all the swords? That doesn't make sense!
If we're continuing this awful romance...
Archer keeps coming back. But I don't get it. Why is he even there?
Emiya is basically using the power of...wait for it...imagination.
The sheath? I cry...bull!
So Saber killed herself? What even.
Watching doesn't mean you can do it, Saber.
If Saber undoes the selection of the king, that means a paradox!
If they kiss, I'm throwing this table.
Question. Where are Illya and Toosaka? HM.
Oh look. Lancer. Sigh...
Ep 22
Wait...made to? What does that even mean?
Left arm REMOVED? What does that even mean?
Curse? What...
And can never be healed? Emiya was healed. FAIL.
Shaky cam doesn't make anything better.
How could you not help them?
Saber is helping him...geez.
Lancer shouldn't be so surprised.
They should run farther than that...
And that sword looks like a drill.
Why did Saber not ask about the scabbard?
Will Emiya ever give the scabbard back?
Ep 23
You know, we abandoned Illya and Toosaka for the last few episodes.
This anime got dark. FAST.
Use Illya? Not Emiya?
Charged it with mana?
Why does visualizing Saber help?
So she was yanked from her time in history? I thought she was dead.
Uh...dude. We're getting dirty here. Wooh...
This is turning into an ecchi anime.
Also, the legalities of looking at a naked Illya...
Pain. Great.
If you're lucky?
Saber is going through hell for this.
Yay...his actual sword...
This is abuse...
Married? How nice...
Ep 24
Just what is this?
Of course he had no plan. Idiot.
Yelling your sword's name like a weirdo is just awkward.
Yeah no. No yelling together will have it make sense.
And Saber shouldn't actually be hurt. she had the scabbard the entire time.
I'm calling bull. On all of this.
Uh...you punched in a knife? Why even.
FUN?!?!
Why can't you do it on your own, Saber? We keep playing the submissive female role...
Enough shots of eating.
Why didn't she take the real Excalibur from Gilgamesh? That'd be smart.
Does that even count as a Command Seal?
And her hair is flowing free? Because reasons?
OH NO. You are NOT throwing the 'It was all a dream' thing at me.
Who is Illya's guardian now?
Wow...everything reminds you of her, doesn't it? Wow, Emiya.
Toosaka...hm.
And why are we using the cherry blossom thing?
Wow. That shot of Toosaka looks like something from an otome game...really.
Naw. You're probably going to forget. And her name was Arturia, just saying. Saber was a class card title. Not even a name.
How does this even work? I thought Saber was DEAD.
Wait. That lady is Guinevere?
Are we going to add in the Lady of the Lake thing?
So after tossing the sword, Saber dies? WOW. WOW.
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